Mobius at night can be very beautiful when two lovers are walking under the stars. If you’re trying to go for a solitary run and a girl who’s obsessed with you is chasing you, then the beauty is less observed. That’s what was happening to Sonic, our favorite blue, speed demon hedgehog, as he ran from Amy Rose, the aforementioned obsessive fangirl. “Just one nighttime run,” thought Sonic, “that’s all I ask.”
“SONIC!” said Amy in her shrill voice. “COME BACK HERE!” The Blue Blur ran into the forest on the outskirts of Station Square. Amy followed close behind, but lost him in the woods. “SONIC!” she called. “WHERE ARE YOU?!” Amy noticed a red sports car in the forest. It was shaped like a rocket with four anti-grav guiders replacing the wheels on each end. A blue hedgehog with blue eyes and a white hexagon on his forehead was looking on a data pad while leaning against it. His quill style was like Shadow’s and he wore a red sports jacket with blue jeans, black boots, white, fingerless gloves, and a medallion around his neck. “Sonic,” said Amy, “that’s the lamest disguise I’ve ever seen. Will you get out of that thing and help me investigate Club Dancitron?” The hedgehog blinked at Amy, then shrugged and disappeared in a flash of bluish light and pixels. The car started shaking as well. The nose cone end extended to make three separate mobile parts connected by joints. It split in half and each half swung down to the ground while the halves of the tip of the car nose extended into five long slender fingers. The rear of the car split in half down the middle, and then each half split down the middle again and made legs. The feet popped out from the insides of the legs and swung down to the ends. The front anti-grav generators swiveled 180 degrees so they were upside down. The rear anti-grav generators attached themselves to the outsides of the feet. The steel like glass canopy moved to the back of the new robot while a head popped out from the upper torso. Amy didn’t know the robot, but judging by the way the helmet on the head was blue and had antennae, I think we know who it is, don’t you?
“Well,” thought Optimus, “this isn’t awkward.” His face said otherwise. He didn’t use the universal greeting on Amy as he figured that most people would have the same reaction as Knuckles on this planet. “Erm…hi,” he said. Amy stared for a while.
“AAAHHH! WHAT THE HECK!!” she shrieked.
“Whoa! Whoa!” said Optimus as he raised his hands in a defensive manner, as well as trying to calm Amy. “It’s okay! It’s okay,” he said. Amy wasn’t listening and pulled her hammer out of hammer-space. “WHOA WHOA WHOA! Lady! Put the hammer down!” yelped Optimus.
“Are you one of Robotnik’s?!” asked Amy.
“What?!” asked Optimus in disbelief.
“Are you one of Robotnik’s robots?!” snarled Amy.
“Whoa, okay!” said Optimus. “I have several robotniks, yes.”
“You have several?” said Amy.
“Well, lady, how do you think I operate?”
“Operate?! What kind of operation do you belong to that needs several Robotniks?! Did he clone himself?!” Optimus blinked.
“Okay,” he said as he sat down cross legged. “I think there’s been a breakdown in communication. When I say robotnik, what leaps to mind with you?”
“A fat scientific dictator that calls himself Eggman,” said Amy.
“…Yeeaah,” said Optimus as he rubbed his face with his hand.
“But when I say Robotnik,” said Amy, “what leaps to mind with you?”
“Tiny radios in my body that are connected to my central processor to keep my motions fluid like yours,” said Optimus.
“Oh,” said Amy as her cheeks went red and she put her hammer away.
“Yeah,” said Optimus. “Look, we got off on the wrong foot. My name is Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots from the planet Cybertron.”
“I’m Amy Rose,” said Amy. “What are you doing here on Mobius?”
“One of my men has come to your planet without my permission,” explained Optimus. “I’m trying to keep a court martial of his chassis and bring him back to Cybertron.”
“Why does he need your permission to come here?” asked Amy.
“Because this planet was once part of a war that all Cybertronians were part of,” said Optimus. “The Cybertronian government imposed sanctions to keep us from visiting planets that our war touched in case there was still animosity towards us.”
“So, you’re trying to get this bot out of trouble,” said Amy. She started thinking about something. “Maybe I can help you.”
“Huh?” said Optimus.
“You don’t know your way around Station Square,” said Amy. “I live here. Maybe I can help find this bot you’re looking for. If he’s as tall as you, we can spot him easily.”
“Not that easily,” said Optimus. “That changing-from-car-to-robot thing I did, that’s something all Cybertronians can do. On top of that, we can make a synthetic form to look like we’re from your planet. That hedgehog you saw? That was me. My mind transferred to that artificial body once the atoms in the air were rearranged. I don’t know what form Jazz took.” Amy perked up.
“Did you say Jazz?” she said.
“Yep, that’s the bot’s name,” said Optimus.
“Does Jazz make light shows from things on his shoulders whenever he’s scratching at a DJ table?” asked Amy.
“…Yes,” said Optimus. Then it hit him. “You know where he is.”
“I know where he is,” said Amy. “He’s the owner and DJ at Club Dancitron. I went there last night and felt that there was something unusual about the DJ. I just didn’t know that he was a robot in disguise. I wanted to investigate with my darling Sonic, but he just ran off.”
“I think we can work something out,” said Optimus. “Let me just change and we’ll be on our way.” Optimus changed back into vehicle mode and activated his synthetic body. “Let’s rock ‘em out!” said Optimus. Amy arched an eyebrow. “Er, I was trying to make a cool ‘move out’ phrase,” said Optimus.
“Needs work,” said Amy. Optimus shrugged. The canopy opened. The car could seat six people. The driver sat in the middle while the passengers sat behind or to either side of him or her. Optimus got into the driver’s seat while Amy took the front right passenger seat. The canopy closed and Optimus moved onto the street. Amy told him where to turn until they came to a problem that still wasn’t solved.
“Traffic!” hissed Optimus. “I hate traffic! Cybertron has the worst traffic record in the universe! I swear I see at least 200 accidents a day whenever I’m on the speedway!”
“And I thought having living cars would be better,” said Amy. “Guess a lack of common sense is everywhere in the galaxy.”
“In the universe,” said Optimus.
“Wow,” said Amy.
“Yeah, my mom always says common sense isn’t common, and there are moments when I agree with her.”
“I meant to ask,” said Amy, “how old are you?”
“Let’s see, in Cybertronian years, or stellar cycles,” said Optimus, “I’m about 125.57. In Mobian years, I’m 150.”
“150?!” yelped Amy.
“Yep,” said Optimus, “you’re looking at the youngest Prime in Cybertronian history.” Amy was about to register more surprise when a hologram of an angry wolf’s head popped up inside the car.
“WOULD YOU MOVE!!” he roared.
“DO YOU NOT SEE THE WALL OF NON MOVING CARS IN FRONT OF US?!” Optimus roared back. He terminated communications.
“I don’t understand,” said Amy, “why don’t you engage flight mode?”
“If I did that,” said Optimus, “you would have to get out, I would have to change, then I’d have to pick you up in my hand, then it would take 10 of your minutes to warm up the thrusters and get any lift while standing still, and that would take up a lot of my power reserves. We’ll have to suffer through traffic.”
“No, I mean activate your vehicle mode’s flight mode,” said Amy.
“I don’t have a vehicle mode flight mode,” said Optimus.
“Look in the sky,” said Amy. Now Optimus was even more confused. He looked up as she asked and saw things flying in the air. He looked a little closer and saw flying cars. Some of them were like his vehicle mode and some were like semi-trucks. “All vehicles come with a standard issue flight mode,” explained Amy. “They don’t have the necessary power to go higher than 200 stories in the air. If road traffic is too awful, just say ‘Engage flight mode’ and it’ll take you to the skyways.”
“That’s so cool!” said Optimus. “I gotta try it out! Engage flight mode!” Optimus twisted his driving joysticks a full 180 degrees.
“Optimus!” said Amy. “Not that much!” The car shot straight up and almost knocked a couple of cars out of the sky.
“FRAK!” said Optimus. He gained control of the car, but his flying was very shaky.
“I was going to tell you about the auto-drive on the thing,” said Amy.
“Wait, this thing can drive itself?” said Optimus.
“Yeah, but only on the…” said Amy.
“Auto-drive!” said Optimus. Nothing happened. “Activate auto-pilot!” said Optimus. Still nothing. “Auto-flyer, engage!” Optimus was still on manual. “How do I turn on the auto-drive?”
“It doesn’t work in flight mode!” said Amy.
“I could really use a steering wheel!” said Optimus.
“We don’t have steering wheels!” said Amy. “We have driver sticks!” They argued for a few seconds until Amy pointed out the rooftop landing for the night club Dancitron. Amy and Optimus hopped out of the car and walked toward the main door when two beefy wart hogs stopped them. “Don’t worry, you two,” said Amy, “he’s with me.”
“Sorry Miss Rose,” said one of the guards in a Brooklyn accent, “but da kid ain’t on da list.”
“Well,” said Optimus, “how do I get on the list?”
“You’ll need to speak with the DJ,” said a voice. Optimus and Amy turned and saw Sonic walking towards them.
“And you are?” said Optimus.
“I’m Sonic, Sonic the Hedgehog!” Sonic gave his usual cocky smirk.
“Oh, so you’re the Sonic that Amy was talking about,” said Optimus.
“That’s me!” said Sonic. He then remembered that Optimus was accompanied by Amy and he was running from her an hour ago. Amy looked very red in the face. “Uh oh,” he gulped.
“SONIC!” screamed Amy. “HOW COME YOU MADE ME LOSE YOU IN THE WOODS?!”
“Wait,” said Sonic, “I can explain!”
“Stow it, both of you,” said Optimus. Amy just glared, and then turned around huffing in annoyance. “Now then,” said Optimus to the bouncers, “what do I have to do to get on the list?”
“Like Sonic said,” said the first bouncer, “you’ll need to talk to da boss, but he’s scratchin’ away. He’ll be doin’ it ‘til closing, and then he hits the sack. You’ll have to come back tomorrow.”
“I don’t think you realize that I need to see him now,” said Optimus as he flashed his wallet. The badge had an Autobot symbol on it. The bouncers blinked in surprise, then raised their pistols. Sonic, Amy, and Optimus stepped back.
“Hey, whoa!” said Sonic.
“Guido, Melvin,” said Amy, “put the guns away!”
“Look pal,” said Guido to Optimus, “it’s nothing personal. The boss just doesn’t want to go back.”
“Dude,” said Optimus, “there are some things you don’t know about your boss.”
“We know what planet he’s from,” said Melvin, “we saw him change.”
“Oh, you know about Cybertronians,” said Optimus, “that sparks.”
“Look, you’re nice and all,” said Melvin, “but we can’t let our boss see you. We don’t want you to arrest him.”
“Look, I’m trying to keep a court martial off his chassis,” said Optimus. “Let me see him, and we can all walk away from this unharmed.”
“Sorry dude,” said Guido, “Nothing personal.” The bouncers opened fire. Sonic, Amy, and Optimus scattered and hid behind separate cars. Optimus hid behind his vehicle mode and drew his own pistol. He deliberately missed Guido and Melvin. He didn’t want to hurt them.
“You realize that you have no cover, right?” he called out. “This place is pretty open.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” called a voice. “Weapons down!” A male porcupine with his quills in dreadlocks stepped out of the club. He had a muscle shirt with blue vertical stripes running down the front and white baggy cargo pants. He had a blue visor over his eyes and fingerless gloves. “Dudes, let’s not harsh the party here.” said the porcupine. “Lower your guns and we can talk like the civilized dudes I know we are. Now, what’s the problem here?”
“Dat hedgehog over dere is part of your people,” said Guido. “We’re not letting him take you.”
“Jazz,” called Optimus, “I’m not here to arrest you. I just want to talk.”
“Guido, Melvin,” said Jazz, “put the guns down. That’s Optimus Prime, my boss and the boss of all the Autobots. We’re friends. He’s a little brash, but he is reasonable.”
“Brash?” said Optimus. He popped out of hiding and holstered his gun. “Excuse me!”
“It’s okay dude,” said Jazz. “What can I do for you?”
“Boss,” said Guido, “what about da partiers here?”
“The firefight just killed the mood,” said Jazz. “Thanks for that!”
“Sorry,” said Guido sheepishly.
“Anyway,” said Jazz, “Optimus, that whole thing about sneaking to Earth, Mobius now, I can explain. You see, someone is digging up Cybertronian corpses and disturbing their place of rest.” Optimus raised an eye ridge.
“When did this happen?” he asked.
“It was a few Earth months ago,” said Jazz. “I made several requests to you through Tarkana-5, but apparently they didn’t get through.” Optimus scrunched his face and rubbed his chin.
“That doesn’t make sense,” he said. “She’s usually so diligent about telling me about this.”
“Who’s Tarkana-5?” asked Sonic.
“My secretary,” said Optimus, “as well as my girlfriend’s cousin. Something doesn’t add up here.” Optimus shook his head. “Never mind, we better contact Iacon.”
“What?” asked Amy.
“The capital city on Cybertron,” said Jazz. He turned to Optimus. “Do you have an intergalactic transmitter?”
“Got one right here,” said Optimus as he pointed to his trunk.
“Let’s get Iacon on the horn after the clubbers leave,” said Jazz.
“Good thinking,” said Optimus. It took a good half hour, but the clubbers cleared the place and soon the Autobots, the bouncers, Sonic, and Amy were the only ones left. Optimus motioned for Jazz to help him get something out of his trunk. He opened it and Jazz helped him get out a strange machine with a satellite dish on top. They took it inside and hooked it up to the DJ table. Optimus fiddled with a few buttons until the satellite dish pointed up to the ceiling. “Optimus Prime calling Cybertronian Elite Guard, come in.” A human in 1700’s French Noblemen attire appeared in a bluish hologram. “Wheeljack?” said Optimus.
“Bonjour, Monsieur Prime,” said Optimus.
“Where’s Ultra Magnus?” said Optimus.
“Zomething had come up,” said Wheeljack in his French accent. “Ze Throttlebots had hijacked Ze Harbinger and he, Megatronus, Perceptor, and Jhiaxus were on board to try and turn it around. Zey have not reported in yet.”
“Well, Ultra Magnus can take care of himself,” said Optimus. “Us Pax brothers are a hardy bunch. In any case, I found Jazz.”
“C'est merveilleux,” said Wheeljack, “but he’s still facing a court martial. Have you got anything out of him?”
“Someone is digging up the final resting places of Cybertronians from the war here,” said Optimus. “Tarkana-5 hadn’t given me the copies of Jazz’s requests to leave for this planet.”
“Zat explains a few things,” said Wheeljack. “Tarkana-5 has abandoned her post. She hasn’t reported in for a while since you’ve gone.”
“The mystery deepens,” said Optimus. “In any case, I think that should clear Jazz’s name.”
“Oui Monsieur,” said Wheeljack. “I will inform ze Elite Guard and clear ze court martial charges.”
“Good work,” Optimus grinned. Jazz did as well. “We’ll give the dead a proper send-off and leave when we’re done.” Wheeljack grimaced.
“A lot of warriors died zere,” said Wheeljack. “Autobots and Decepticons alike died to finish ze war quickly. It would take months on Earth to send zem all off even with ze proper equipment.”
“Which we need right now,” said Optimus.
“I don’t think ze High Council will agree with it,” said Wheeljack. “I’ll do what I can, but even if zey agree, sending ze equipment will take a lot of time.”
“I understand,” said Optimus. “Do what you can. I’ll tie up loose ends here.
“Oui Monsieur Prime,” said Wheeljack. “Wheeljack Out.” The hologram fizzled out.
“Hm,” said Jazz, “looks like there’s going to be political grandstanding before a vote.”
“So it seems,” said Optimus. “We better get started and start investigating. I’ll call the others.”
“Who came with you?” asked Jazz.
“Bumblebee, Cliffjumper, Ratchet, and Ironhide,” said Optimus.
“Practically a small squadron,” said Jazz. Optimus went out to his vehicle mode and took a small handset in his hand.
“Optimus to Ironhide,” he said, “come in.”
“This is Ironhide,” came the Texan drawl. “Go ahead Prime.”
“I’ve located Jazz and have cleared his name,” said Optimus. “We have a new mission though.”
“What’s that?” asked Ironhide.
“Someone’s digging up the final resting places of Autobots and Decepticons. I don’t know the reason, but we can’t have that.”
“So once the Elite Guard convinces the council to send the vaporizer, we should be able to give the dead a proper send off.”
“You got it.” Optimus heard something strange over the radio. “What’s that sound?”
“That’s the sound of feet,” said Ironhide. Optimus noted a rhythm to the footsteps and guessed on how many pairs of feet there were.
“’Hide, is that an army marching?” he asked.
“A robot army’s marching on Station Square,” said Ironhide. “I’m in their way at the moment.”
“Ironhide,” said Optimus, “do not engage! Repeat, do not engage!”
“Too late for that Prime,” said Ironhide, “they saw me and are leveling guns towards me.”
“At least wait for backup!” said Optimus.
“Prime,” said Ironhide, “remember when you were a little Orion Pax and I would visit? I sat you down on my knee and told you stories about me and my partners, the Wreckers. Do you remember what we always said?”
“Ironhide, no!” said Optimus.
“Wreckers don’t call for backup, they call for cleanup! Ironhide out.” Ironhide ended the communications channel.
“I have a feeling that being in command’s a lot harder than I thought,” said Optimus to no one in particular.